Single Mom Burnout
I’m burnt out. I’ve been running on fumes for the past few months working full time as a software engineer and part time as a code bootcamp mentor coaching 16 students, taking two classes a semester in an MBA program, writing my memoir, and homeschooling my daughter.
I put my head down and told myself I just needed to make it to winter break and then I could rest. After the stress of Finals in the midst of volunteering backstage for my ballerina daughter’s Nutcracker rehearsals and performances, I survived with straight A’s.
Then, I collapsed emotionally.
Any little thing that didn’t go smoothly, I would lose my mind. I’d have angry outbursts over tiny things, forcing me to go to my room alone to hyperventilate. Any extra request from my daughter would send me into a stress spiral. Any push back from her like, “I don’t want to work on math,” would cause my body to erupt in fiery rage and frustration.
And I thought: Why? I’m on break between semesters! It’s the holidays! What’s wrong with me?
I suffered through nursing burnout, which was what led me to leave the profession altogether for software engineering. I recognize the signs of burnout.
- Exhaustion
- Irritability
- Lack of motivation
- Feelings of inadequacy
- Guilt
- Loneliness
- Rage
When I was a nurse, I dealt with burnout with alcohol. Now, I rarely drink and have learned that alcohol is a poor way to soothe burnout.
What can a single mom do to treat mom burnout?
My mom burnout is more complicated to treat because I’m a single mom. I don’t have a co-parenting partner to take the reins while I step away, even for five minutes to take a breather. Like me, it may not be possible for you to schedule time away from your children.
What can we do instead?
This is what I’m doing:
- I’m letting myself sleep in.
- I’m letting myself slow down. I tend to rush around when there really isn’t a need to be so efficient.
- I’m letting myself be human.
- I’m forgiving myself for yelling.
- I’m forgiving myself for losing my temper with my daughter.
- I’m letting myself watch Netflix instead of working on my memoir or my romance books.
- I’m letting myself be still.
- I’m letting myself slow my productivity down and just be until my stress levels come down.
What are ways you deal with mom burnout when you don’t have a co-parenting partner? Please share!
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